approaching ONE

Braxton and Xander are approaching their first birthday (aug. 18th). With this, so much emotion and thoughts flood my mind. Questions I ponder every day, " will I be a mom to a special needs child?" "Will they be delayed in speech as everyone say they will?" " will my life consist of doctors appointments and therapy sessions forever?" and of course....and most unfortunately, I still have those "what if" thoughts that flood my mind. Just yesterday I was so consumed with the thoughts of me showering when I probably should not have been, while on such strict bed rest. How vain I was...am.

In any case...I try hard, with a lot of prayer and encouragement from friends, to not take myself to those questions and thoughts. The truth of the matter is....GOD is still in control and HE brought us here. The fact that HE orchestrated all these events in His timely manner, has helped comfort me during those weak moments.

The boys have an evaluation for development on the day of their birthday. They will determine where they are at age wise, for gross/fine motor skills, social emotional development, cognitive skills, etc. I feel like I can already predict some of what they will say. After all, I live it everyday. I don't think I need a degree to say, "braxton still has some low tone issues". He still isn't crawling and sitting on his own. I know this will be some what of a "red flag" for them. So I'm already preparing myself to hear all the clinical jargon (the sitting up is a 7 month old skill. They are now 8 months adjusted). So theoretically, he is not that far behind. But we'll see what the degree holders have to say. I predict they will be blown away by xander. He, according to many "degree holders" is ahead of his adjusted age. I always say he has a 12 month old brain with a body that functions as an 8 month old. This gets him in trouble as he tries to preform like a one year old; pulling himself up on the couch, trying to stand on his own, crawling in turbo speed. He gets a lot of bumps and bruises because he's still VERY unstable. Gives me a major mental and physical workout daily. I can't wait till he walks so I can have a little more peace throughout the day.


A few prayer requests:
- braxton has eye surgery on Aug 26th. It's out patient and should only take an hour or so. Please, if you will pray for success of the surgery, pray for the doctor, and pray that Braxton has minimal to NO pain through it all. (maybe a prayer for the parents too ) ;) recovery is 6 weeks. He will have blood shot eyes and swollen for a little while. After 6 weeks we will know if the surgery worked.

-Braxton's over all development. As mentioned above, he has a more significant delay than xander. To the point that I am now a bit concerned and trying to get him more therapy to try and close these gaps. However, I try not to be a naive person, and realize that these delays could be directly correlated to the brain bleeds he had. Even if this is the case, I know our God is mighty and can do all things. So please, pray with us that all neurological damage that might have taken place is completely reversed. And if this isn't God's will, and Braxton will have some delays, please pray that God would give us peace and understanding (and joy) to handle it all.

This last year was a year I will never forget, that's for sure. God gave us a lot of responsibility and with that a ton of pressure, and I know He's not done. This next year, i can foresee our plate being just as full. We will have some of the same challenges, but presented with different ones as well. This, creating a lot of the same stress and pressure. Again, I'm so glad I don't have to walk this path alone.

THANK YOU ALL who have helped serve, love, and pray for our family. You have helped make this testimony what it is. Our boys, braxton and xander, are walking examples of GOd's love and grace. They have a big role to play....I CAN NOT wait to see what else God has up his sleeve for the Carmona family.