Forgiveness

Is it a concscious decision? Is it a physical act? How do you go about forgiving someone that has hurt you or done wrong? Questions I have been pondering. I am not one to hold a grudge. I think it's counterproductive and a waste of time. SO the opposite of holding a grudge is to forgive and let go. But it's not always that easy.

I can't forgive alone. God has to come by my side and help me. I have to trust that He will restore my heart. The hurt might still linger, but the freedom of forgiving is so powerful. Forgiving is against our nature...as humans we are evil. Mean. But by faith, and trusting in God we can do it. What if I get hurt again...by the same person. By the same thing? Then...I forgive again. It's worth it to me...to take risks rather than to live alone without or neglecting deep friendships.

Colossians 3:13
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Our God is a forgiving God-- we are called to obedience and forgive as well.

So forgiving others is hard....but doable, with time and prayer. And once it's done, it's like a ton of bricks has been released from your shoulders. Now you can work on restoring the relationship. It may be slow...but I believe the bond will be stronger.

What about forgiving yourself...?

Philippians 1:6
And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns

This blog was/is intended to be the raw truth of living this life. I am struggling in the area of forgiveness....but not forgiving others. Forgiving myself. I put a lot (A LOT) of blame on myself for what happened August 18, 2009. My little boys were born 16 weeks early, that's 4 months! They were born with their eyes still fused shut and their skin paper thin. They were born with holes where they shouldn't be, lungs barely developed, and brains that were bleeding.

Dealing with forgiveness lately--forces me to think about forgiving myself. Or maybe there isn't forgiving that needs to take place. Because maybe it wasn't my fault in the first place (so I've been told) Nevertheless...there is healing and restoration that needs to take place. I'm a work in progress...and ready to make some huge strides in these areas.

Isaiah 41:13
For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.