Better Behaviors: Go Caden!

Caden has figured out what "independent play" is...he has always had a tough time with this. I suspect because ever since I was on bed rest, and then the events to follow, he has always had someone here just for him. So he has gotten one on one attention for many many months. This last week I have noticed moments where caden wasn't in the room. He was actually playing very appropriately in his play room, by HIMSELF!
Not only that, Caden has been such a GREAT big brother. he is so gentle with the twins (and any other babies that he sees for that matter). He absolutely loves to kiss them. He points to his lips and says, 'isss' with a little lisp. That's Kiss in his language. It's very cute. I am proud of my little boy...
His hitting, scratching, and head-butting mom hasn't been seen this week either. Thank you LORD for teaching us all how to transition into this new life.

Caden's new thing now, is, being very possessive of daddy. If i am hugging Phil, or laying next to him, Caden tries to peel me off (literally). It's funny--and shows just how much he loves his daddy. he wants him ALL to himself.

Here are a couple pictures I took this morning of Caden being sillly with Grandma's glasses.

Apnea Monitor

For all the curious minds, this is what the apnea monitor looks like. It's a very soft foam band that goes around their chest. It doesn't seem to bother them. however, braxton seems to have a little red sore under one of his leads. I wish I could take it off more often, to let his skin breathe, but I get way too nervous to have it off. it tends to come off only for bath time.
I liked this picture of Braxton, because it shows him doing a typical baby reflex, touching his hands together at mid-line. this is something the physical therapist worked on with both boys during their hospital stay. She gave us tips on how to continue this behavior.

The goal for their 4 month check up, when they go to the "high risk follow up clinic" at Loma Linda, is for the boys to be able to do a good back arch during tummy time and start, if not already doing it, to touch their toes while laying on their back. I'll keep you updated as I see them get closer to these milestones.

recent pictures of the boys

Big brother Caden

This is what happens during meal times, now that mom has to pay attention to three little ones...I get pretty involved with my food. Don't worry, my mom told me to stand up... I didn't fall. :)

Our sleeping arrangements. At least until we outgrow it...which will be pretty soon.

feedings

I was up at 2am this morning; woke up to braxton's scream. I think he scratched himself, as i see a big red mark on his cheek. got him settled back in bed and then xander starts to cry--I'm starting to figure out what cry is for what. This was a, "i have such bad gas and I can't find any relief" cry. I thought maybe if I fed him (an hour early), that would calm him down. Nope. He just needed some time.

I'm starting to wonder if the feedings will EVER get easier. I went on my preemie "support" website (where a bunch a preemie mom's chat about different issues), and I found out that my boys aren't alone. MOST preemies hate to eat or hardly show signs of being hungry. You would think after 4 hours, the boys would be crying hysterically, ready to eat. Not always the case. So different than when caden was their age. But then again, everything is different from Caden. (I really need to stop comparing...)

Praying today, that I have patience for the next....5 feedings.

feeding schedule

my mom and I took the twins to their new pediatrician today. She is the same one caden goes to and I love her. She gave us the okay to go 4, even 5 hours in the night without feeding them. If they are not waking up, then she says to let them sleep. like i said...i Really like her. :) They have gained weight nicely this last week. Braxton weighs 10 pounds 12 ounces. Last week he was 10.5. Xander weighs 10 pounds 9 ounces. Last week he was 10.4. So we will try this new schedule this week and then we will go back to the doc next tuesday to weigh them and see how they are doing. Other than that, she was happy to see how responsive they both were. She was even more excited to hear that they have already rolled over. She did, however, warn us that she would keep them on the apnea monitors for at least 6 months! uggh...I know by then I might wanna throw 'em out the window. Right now, though, I do have such peace of mind knowing that I will be aware if and when they have any episodes. I'm sure if they do not have any episodes for some time, she wouldn't keep them on it. (side note, xander goes to the BPD clinic for his lungs, in two weeks. here we will when he can come off the oxygen). Praying it is during THAT visit!

Well gotta get caden ready for bed...and myself for that matter. :)

milestone

both. boys. rolled. over!

wow!

What's next boys!?

alarms

Last night was a rough one. We have been doing SOO well; the monitors haven't been heard in a long time. Braxton's apnea monitor hasn't gone off for a few weeks and xander's hadn't gone off in 8 days. But last night it felt like we were making up for "lost" time.

3:15am I hear beep beep beep beep (5 beeps). that's the longest it has ever gone off. It tends to stop at 2 or 3, when the boys resolve the issue on their own. i hurried to the twins, to find phil holding braxton. he had the WORST reflux I have ever seen which caused him to have a brady. He was arching his back so far and was completely stiff. It was bad. He had some old milk in his mouth that came up and was crying uncontrollably and grunting. It was so sad to watch. After about 15 minutes he calmed down and was able to go back to sleep.

I fed the boys at that time and then went to go lay back down. About 6:00, about 15 minutes after getting back into bed, I hear another monitor go off. I rushed downstairs (my mom was with the boys), and xander had a brady. He had two, in fact, about 10 minutes apart. He was trying to eat and sleep at the same time. Never a good combination.

I then went back to bed and about 8 the alarm goes off again. This time braxton had a high heart rate. HE was fussing and crying and got all worked up making the monitor alarm. By the time we got to him, we realized he had a poopy diaper (he HATES dirty diapers).

Finally, thanks to my mom, I was able to go sleep for a good 2 hours while she held the fort down. So thankful for her!

I pray that tonight and every night to follow is different and way more peaceful. Right when I started to think, "maybe those monitors aren't needed anymore", I realize how thankful I am for them!

first two weeks as a complete family

scroll from bottom to top to see chronological order: getting ready to come home from the hospital, first time caden seeing braxton, first time caden with both brothers, first bath at home, etc.


















These are some shots taken these last couple weeks as our family grew from 3 to 4... then finally 5. You can see from caden's expressions that he has NO idea what to think. Although hectic, it's been fun to watch caden be the big brother. He is slowly turning into the compassionate, empathetic big brother. When one of the babies cries he stops everything and runs over to them. Of course phil or I are hurrying right behind him; you never know what kind of "love" caden is going to express to them. *smiles* You can also see that Caden wants to try out being the "baby" as well, as he gets comfy in their bouncer chair.

PS: anyone know how to upload pictures and also give captions to them individually? (novice here...)

house arrest?

I knew this was coming...I knew I would have countless days of feeding, burping, changing, cleaning, sleeping. Waking up and doing it all over again. Feeding, burping, changing, cleaning and sleeping. I did forget to add in there "entertaining a 1 year old and meeting his immediate needs". As I read what I have just written, I sound like a crying baby; an unappreciative complainer. This is not my intentions. I pray to God that HE gives me the patience and energy that I need to get through this season...Please pray with me because I can't do this alone.

God has gotten me this far...I know HE is going to get me through these tough days. And when I say tough, I really mean horrific. For those of you that have a baby, you know the moments when they don't stop crying. The moments you can't take their pain away or sooth them to sleep. Take those experiences and add one more baby crying that has labored breathing and catch his breathe due to his uncontrollable cries, then on top of that add a cranky "i want all the attention" toddler. I know, I know...life could be worse. Trust me...i know. This doesn't take away the emotions I am feeling today. right this second. okay...NOW I sound like that complainer previously mentioned. sorry. I should appreciate the fact I am even able to sneak away and write this (thanks mom for being here!)

Praying that God takes me one more day, then one more day...and so on. Thanks for letting me express the raw truth to this new crazy life I lead.

ROP

I was reminded again, just how awesome God is. Phil and I took the boys to their eye appointments and we learned that Xander's ROP has completely resolved! His retinas are fully developed with no abnormalities. He now will be seen, not in one week, or two weeks, but FOUR months! At that appointment they will look closely at his eye movements/muscles and test to see if he needs glasses. Many preemies are near sighted and do start wearing glasses this early. It's pretty remarkable how they tests infants for vision impairment. We are praying that glasses will not be needed.
Mr. Braxton's retinas are also fully developed. He does not have a stage of ROP because the blood vessels are matured, however there is still a little section on the exterior of the eye that the doctor wants to watch. The vessels are raised just enough to still be somewhat concerning. She did say that laser surgery is not ever going to be necessary, but that in the worst case scenarios retinal detachment is possible. However, she did say that most preemies she sees, this problem resolves before anything drastic happens; the vessels flatten on their own. So for Braxton he will be seen in a month. (way better than weekly!).
We were so thrilled to get this report! We also learned that the doctor also had a preemie, a 26 weeker. Her 4 year old daughter is doing great with no lingering preemie problems. It's always encouraging to hear stories like that.
More on the eyes in a month :)

Then and NOW

Then and NOW
5 months ago today, my baby boys entered into this world. They had a long 4 and a half month stay in the NICU fighting for their life on a daily basis. With tons of prayer, our boys have beat many odds and have come home to complete our family of 5!