OVER LOAD

As I have mentioned in the recent past, the twins have had some hearing tests done that have come back abnormal. There is a definite hearing loss, but at this time we don't know the exact amount.
I sort of predicted that the boys would have some issues with hearing....not really giving it much thought. But now that they are 17 months (13 months adjusted) and only babbling mama, I am getting more concerned and starting to find myself on the phone with more specialist, on the Internet looking up more terms, and my mind is going non stop. I think there's a fine line between being a concerned and involved parent, to an overly obsessed control freak. Well...I am currently leaning towards the freakishly obsessed parent. This only got worse when we took caden to a hearing exam this week and he shocked us. He was showing a moderate hearing loss! Caden of all people. There is a huge chance it's just fluid blocking the sounds, not allowing his ear drum to move properly. We are being referred to ENT and we'll see what they find or suggest.

Next week we start the process of getting xander's cyst removed. So we go to a consult with the surgeon, and then the lung doctor and then the ENT for clearance for surgery.

So-- here is sit...just spent my awake alone time googling tons of stuff on preemie hearing loss and resources, and blah blah blah. Is it doing me any good. NO. I have done all I can to this point, so I need to just shut the computer and start my day. My day of NOT worrying, NOT obsessing and just trusting the GOd has it all under control. I often think I am in the driver's seat, and this morning I am reminded and am VERY grateful that I am not!

The boys will go to John Tracy Clinic on February 1st for second opinions on their hearing loss. Is it progressive (like mine)? Is it something that will in fact interfere with speech? I still have so many questions and very little answers. Part of being a mom to micro preemies is learning to "wait and see". waiting for me.....you see.....is NOT easy.

BUT okay God...I get it. Surrender to you....trust that your will be done....and that I just have faith that my boys are in good hands. I pray for wisdom to be the best advocate the boys can have and that God would just direct our steps as we start this next journey (school!). Boys have an IEP today....they may be qualified for an Early Start Preschool.

My ramble...inspired by strong coffee this morning and lack of sleep (as we are weening boys off of their 12 am feeding), is officially over.

TBC