remembering "Grams"

My aunt making xander laugh with her silly antics.

braxton is fascinated with simba (my old dog whom now resides with my mom due to her mischievous ways)

My cousins practicing their "sexy face". Keep practicing girls...

preparing for the shot...clearly not ready.

two cousins holding my babies. So helpful!!

smiling...as usual.

my cousin doing what she does best, make everyone laugh.

My uncles, my dad's brothers.

below:
The boys (friend, step bro., and phil) just chillin after lunch.
all the cousin (that were in town anyway)
more cousins with my boys

The last two week have been consumed with so many things. One being my sick grandma. I learned she had a stroke and I immediately started going over to her place (in Laguna Niguel) a few times a week. Doing this with three young boys wasn't the easiest. But, I did it! (more about that later).

My grandma passed away on Tuesday, June 22nd. Her funeral was on Friday the 25th. It was not a speedy death; the only kind of death I'm familiar with. My dad's death was immediate. No time to prepare. It happened in a matter of hours. My grandma....she lay there, speechless and limp. For a week...Well it wasn't always like that.

My grandma (often called "grams") was one of the most articulate, intelligent women around. She was known for reading the newspaper daily, Time magazine was always by her bedside, and it wasn't surprising if she had just finished reading one of her favorirte books for the second time around. She had so much to offer-- and she did.

Of course there's mixed emotions going through my head. One, is quite selfish. I admit. My grandma was my connection to my dad. (She was his mom). Seeing my grandma allowed me to still "see" my dad. She told me stories, she brought back memories, all at a time when I felt they might have been fading.
My grandma is my connection to my uncles (my dad's 5 brothers). My grandma is the connection to my cousins. I fear the loss of these people now that my grams is gone. However, at the funeral my uncle assured me and the rest of the family, while giving his speech, that this family is grounded and rooted together because of her and will not be and cannot be destroy, again because of her. That was her mission, to keep the family together. We all made a vow to do that. I feel confident that that is exactly what we will do.
We already have a family reunion planned for next summer. We will be going to cannon beach, oregon. For two purposes. One, the main reason, to spread her ashes. This was her favorite spot and her wishes. Second, for the Hydes to reunite and do what we do best. party! I can NOT wait!

The reception after the funeral went perfectly. Everyone seemed at peace; they all seemed to enjoy their time and reflect on all the memories they have had with my grandma. She will definitely be missed, but she is in a WAY better place. I believe that 100%.

As for traveling these last two weeks with my boys....it has brought me over a huge hump. It's scary to load up two car seats, pack bags for three kids (trying not to forget anything, and believe me I have. Including bottles!!). Who forgets bottles. anyway, it was and is an adventure, but I am learning to really enjoy it. The boys like it too. Its also reassuring that at the end of my destination there are other hands to help. I have yet to travel alone, with zero help. That might be quite some time! years maybe?!?

I leave you with my grandma's favorite verse:

Psalm 23

A psalm of David.

¹ The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

² He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

³ he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

⁴ Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death, ^a]">[a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

⁵ You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

⁶ Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.