Father's Day pics

xander, right before he crawled for the first time

caden and his friend anthony

mr. cool

He loved the ocean as much as his momma

phil and his mom, feeding the boys (they didn't make us heat the milk!)

taking it all in...

We had such a great time in La Jolla...caden loved every second of it. Phil was walking around so proud of his little boys. He is the best dad...It was a great Father's day!

remembering "Grams"

My aunt making xander laugh with her silly antics.

braxton is fascinated with simba (my old dog whom now resides with my mom due to her mischievous ways)

My cousins practicing their "sexy face". Keep practicing girls...

preparing for the shot...clearly not ready.

two cousins holding my babies. So helpful!!

smiling...as usual.

my cousin doing what she does best, make everyone laugh.

My uncles, my dad's brothers.

below:
The boys (friend, step bro., and phil) just chillin after lunch.
all the cousin (that were in town anyway)
more cousins with my boys

The last two week have been consumed with so many things. One being my sick grandma. I learned she had a stroke and I immediately started going over to her place (in Laguna Niguel) a few times a week. Doing this with three young boys wasn't the easiest. But, I did it! (more about that later).

My grandma passed away on Tuesday, June 22nd. Her funeral was on Friday the 25th. It was not a speedy death; the only kind of death I'm familiar with. My dad's death was immediate. No time to prepare. It happened in a matter of hours. My grandma....she lay there, speechless and limp. For a week...Well it wasn't always like that.

My grandma (often called "grams") was one of the most articulate, intelligent women around. She was known for reading the newspaper daily, Time magazine was always by her bedside, and it wasn't surprising if she had just finished reading one of her favorirte books for the second time around. She had so much to offer-- and she did.

Of course there's mixed emotions going through my head. One, is quite selfish. I admit. My grandma was my connection to my dad. (She was his mom). Seeing my grandma allowed me to still "see" my dad. She told me stories, she brought back memories, all at a time when I felt they might have been fading.
My grandma is my connection to my uncles (my dad's 5 brothers). My grandma is the connection to my cousins. I fear the loss of these people now that my grams is gone. However, at the funeral my uncle assured me and the rest of the family, while giving his speech, that this family is grounded and rooted together because of her and will not be and cannot be destroy, again because of her. That was her mission, to keep the family together. We all made a vow to do that. I feel confident that that is exactly what we will do.
We already have a family reunion planned for next summer. We will be going to cannon beach, oregon. For two purposes. One, the main reason, to spread her ashes. This was her favorite spot and her wishes. Second, for the Hydes to reunite and do what we do best. party! I can NOT wait!

The reception after the funeral went perfectly. Everyone seemed at peace; they all seemed to enjoy their time and reflect on all the memories they have had with my grandma. She will definitely be missed, but she is in a WAY better place. I believe that 100%.

As for traveling these last two weeks with my boys....it has brought me over a huge hump. It's scary to load up two car seats, pack bags for three kids (trying not to forget anything, and believe me I have. Including bottles!!). Who forgets bottles. anyway, it was and is an adventure, but I am learning to really enjoy it. The boys like it too. Its also reassuring that at the end of my destination there are other hands to help. I have yet to travel alone, with zero help. That might be quite some time! years maybe?!?

I leave you with my grandma's favorite verse:

Psalm 23

A psalm of David.

¹ The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

² He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

³ he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

⁴ Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death, ^a]">[a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

⁵ You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

⁶ Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

update on eyes

after going to the doctor last week, it was apparent that Braxton's eyes have not gotten better. Even tho I have noticed the right eye focusing more, when the doctor did the measurements there is not much improvement. Therefore, we went ahead and scheduled the appointment. The date right now is set for august 26th. There might be an opening on Aug. 5th, which I am hoping for. I am ready for this to be over with and be able to see Braxton interacting and not getting so frustrated.

Of course, during this time there are mixed emotions; I mean it IS a surgery. He will be put under and it will take about 1.5 hours. The doctor is very good and I trust her 100%. However, your prayers during this time are definitely appreciated!

We will go back a week before surgery to check one more time before the surgery.

More to come....thanks for your continued prayers!

boys swim for the 1st time

The three boys and I went to my cousins house to help her celebrate her birthday (unfortunately daddy had to work).

The twins went "swimming" for the first time. They weren't sure at first, but then seemed to really like it. If the water was a little warmer I think it would have even been that much better. Braxton looked soo relaxed; almost falling asleep at one point.

Thank you guys for helping me with the three boys! Couldn't have had so much fun without your help!

Happy birthday kirst! I love you lots!

eyes

Mr. Braxton has his eye appointment on monday (june 21st). This is the appointment where the doctor will determine if he needs the corrective surgery or not. His eyes, miraculously, have gotten a lot better in the last few weeks. However, he still does not focus for long periods of time. His eyes play a huge role in his social skills. He has moments where he is so giggly and interactive, but more often than not, I find him playing with his toes, toys or just talking to himself. Once his eyes are corrected, it is going to be amazing to see the transformation take place; his true [playful and bubbly] personality will shine.

Please be praying for the doctors that God gives them wisdom and just for a complete healing so he would not have to undergo this surgery.

lesson learned

105 temperatures
green snot
2am diarrhea
throw up
whining
crying
wailing
dehydration
antibiotics
thermometer
saline
humidifier
sick
sick
sick

The last few weeks have been MISERABLE. Miserable for my babies as they were sick, miserable for me as a mom trying to handle three sick babies, and miserable for GOD.

I was reminded these last few weeks that GOD gave me these babies and this life and he could easily take it away. Not that I think He would do such, but He definitely put me under so much pressure and stress that all I had was to turn to Him for patience and guidance and strength. Once I was under that realization, He didn't put on the breaks, but pushed me that much further. I was then sick in bed for 3 days with strep and ear infections. I might have yelled out loud, " OKAY GOD I GET IT!"

SO there it was...plain and clear. God's lesson to me.
Despite the busy life I lead, I have no excuse to be doing it on my own. I have been absent from his presence. I have not been reading, praying, or acknowledging anything He has done for me. I have stepped in the drivers seat and took off full speed. CLEARLY, in the wrong direction.

I am SO thankful that I do not have to drive, and I can sit back and be passenger--now I just have to learn how to not be a back seat driver.

Thank you Lord for these last couple weeks. I can [now] honestly appreciate what you did. Sorry for my stubborn heart.

sick babies

our sick day

went for a walk to the park. This was before I knew he was so sick.

He was so cranky, I thought getting him out of the house would make him happier and feel better.

my mom is a life saver!

The two boys "playing" together.

wow...being a mom is tough. Being a mom to 3 sick babies is even tougher! THank GOD my mom was here this week to help me. Yesterday was the breaking point. Caden's temperature reached 104.4. I was at the pharmacy getting braxton's medicine (for PINK EYE!) when my mom called me. I immediately came home, thinking he may need to go to urgent care. After medicine and a bath his temp went down. HE was still very lethargic and didn't move from the couch for hours, sleeping off and on.

Meanwhile, braxton's nose is running, he's coughing and his eye is almost swollen shut from the pink eye. Xander's cough makes him gag, and i freeze while looking at him, making sure he is able to take a breathe. We have been giving 3-4 breathing treatments a day for him, but I'm not certain how much it's helping. He's not letting me put the mask on him, and he doesn't let the mouth piece really stay in his mouth. So I simply hold it near his mouth and nose. Making it a game allows me to sit there with it for 10 minutes.

praying for a better day today.

First taste of solids!

The boys have met another milestone; they had their first taste of rice cereal. Most of it went on their bibs, but nevertheless, they got a taste.

Preemies often need help from an OT (occupational therapy), when they begin eating solids. Often times they are not coordinated enough or they have an adverse reaction to the textures of the food/spoon. Just like they had to learn how to drink from a bottle, it might take them longer to learn the concept of eating from a spoon. Buuut, these are pretty special babies and I have a feeling it won't take them too long :)

As you can see in the first picture, caden is missing. I chose to approach this task while he was napping. Soon enough I will have all three sitting there. I better keep the broom in the kitchen now!

This time is bitter sweet. Sweet, in that they are getting bigger and strong enough to sit and eat solids. Bitter....it's going to be that much harder to feed them; new routine will need to be put in place and anticipated frustrations with the learning process.

With that said, though, I'm looking forward to tomorrows feedings!