Braxton and Xander are approaching their first birthday (aug. 18th). With this, so much emotion and thoughts flood my mind. Questions I ponder every day, " will I be a mom to a special needs child?" "Will they be delayed in speech as everyone say they will?" " will my life consist of doctors appointments and therapy sessions forever?" and of course....and most unfortunately, I still have those "what if" thoughts that flood my mind. Just yesterday I was so consumed with the thoughts of me showering when I probably should not have been, while on such strict bed rest. How vain I was...am.
In any case...I try hard, with a lot of prayer and encouragement from friends, to not take myself to those questions and thoughts. The truth of the matter is....GOD is still in control and HE brought us here. The fact that HE orchestrated all these events in His timely manner, has helped comfort me during those weak moments.
The boys have an evaluation for development on the day of their birthday. They will determine where they are at age wise, for gross/fine motor skills, social emotional development, cognitive skills, etc. I feel like I can already predict some of what they will say. After all, I live it everyday. I don't think I need a degree to say, "braxton still has some low tone issues". He still isn't crawling and sitting on his own. I know this will be some what of a "red flag" for them. So I'm already preparing myself to hear all the clinical jargon (the sitting up is a 7 month old skill. They are now 8 months adjusted). So theoretically, he is not that far behind. But we'll see what the degree holders have to say. I predict they will be blown away by xander. He, according to many "degree holders" is ahead of his adjusted age. I always say he has a 12 month old brain with a body that functions as an 8 month old. This gets him in trouble as he tries to preform like a one year old; pulling himself up on the couch, trying to stand on his own, crawling in turbo speed. He gets a lot of bumps and bruises because he's still VERY unstable. Gives me a major mental and physical workout daily. I can't wait till he walks so I can have a little more peace throughout the day.
A few prayer requests:
- braxton has eye surgery on Aug 26th. It's out patient and should only take an hour or so. Please, if you will pray for success of the surgery, pray for the doctor, and pray that Braxton has minimal to NO pain through it all. (maybe a prayer for the parents too ) ;) recovery is 6 weeks. He will have blood shot eyes and swollen for a little while. After 6 weeks we will know if the surgery worked.
-Braxton's over all development. As mentioned above, he has a more significant delay than xander. To the point that I am now a bit concerned and trying to get him more therapy to try and close these gaps. However, I try not to be a naive person, and realize that these delays could be directly correlated to the brain bleeds he had. Even if this is the case, I know our God is mighty and can do all things. So please, pray with us that all neurological damage that might have taken place is completely reversed. And if this isn't God's will, and Braxton will have some delays, please pray that God would give us peace and understanding (and joy) to handle it all.
This last year was a year I will never forget, that's for sure. God gave us a lot of responsibility and with that a ton of pressure, and I know He's not done. This next year, i can foresee our plate being just as full. We will have some of the same challenges, but presented with different ones as well. This, creating a lot of the same stress and pressure. Again, I'm so glad I don't have to walk this path alone.
THANK YOU ALL who have helped serve, love, and pray for our family. You have helped make this testimony what it is. Our boys, braxton and xander, are walking examples of GOd's love and grace. They have a big role to play....I CAN NOT wait to see what else God has up his sleeve for the Carmona family.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Friday, August 6, 2010
Regional center battles
The boys have been in, what I like to call, "the system" for 3 months now. Regional center has been seeing them once a week for an hour each. To refresh memories, An early intervention teacher comes and works with them; they work on sensory integration, gross/fine motor skills, etc. It's been great...
However, after learning a little more about my rights as a parent I became aware that the boys could be getting so much more. Immediately I was on the phone and was able to get both boys an extra hour a week! This means they will have the teacher come and work with them two times a week for an hour each. I also insisted on an OT/PT consult come to the house to evaluate them. As we have been waiting on insurance to pick them up, I didn't want to delay them from getting those services. The obstacle I am facing here, is they are trying to send me to Rancho Bernardo of all place, to get them their therapy. This is ridiculous to me, because I know they have in home therapist that travel around the county. We are waiting for approval on this.... of course it's all about money. (i also learned that the Inland Empire Regional center is the worst off, financially, compared to the rest of the state). lucky us... Means we gotta fight even harder.
However, after learning a little more about my rights as a parent I became aware that the boys could be getting so much more. Immediately I was on the phone and was able to get both boys an extra hour a week! This means they will have the teacher come and work with them two times a week for an hour each. I also insisted on an OT/PT consult come to the house to evaluate them. As we have been waiting on insurance to pick them up, I didn't want to delay them from getting those services. The obstacle I am facing here, is they are trying to send me to Rancho Bernardo of all place, to get them their therapy. This is ridiculous to me, because I know they have in home therapist that travel around the county. We are waiting for approval on this.... of course it's all about money. (i also learned that the Inland Empire Regional center is the worst off, financially, compared to the rest of the state). lucky us... Means we gotta fight even harder.
Monday, July 26, 2010
heart attack!
xander has been busy busy busy. The moment he wakes up, he begins his exploration around the house. Yesterday he decided to try something new.
He did this all by himself (with me VERY close by). I have to now watch him like a hawk because he finds himself in some sketchy situations. Today he tried to climb into a planter pot. Just now he got to the couch and pulled himself up to his knees. It will only be a matter of days before he is pulling to a standing position. wow! Go Xander!
Monday, July 19, 2010
playmate, thereapy, thoughts....
I have sat in amazement the last couple days... Caden has left my side for more than 10 minutes to play. without me. amazing! I look over and he's interacting with xander and braxton. Sadly, more xander than braxton; I will hear him say, "no xander" when he tries to get something caden has. Or I will see him "attempt" to read him a story. VERY cute.
It sort of breaks my heart, though, that I have to remind caden to interact with Braxton. I can understand why caden is playing with xander more; xander is crawling and exploring. Braxton still lays there. in one position. He will move from tummy to back, but not like his brother. Braxton will play with his toys and mouth them. He will babble and giggle if someone engages with him. But he's just not like his brother. YET!
Caden is my little shadow. It's not easy... I wonder, is it his toys? are they are too babyish. is he ready for more? Have I not taught him to play independently? or is he just plain bored. Well I think a little of all that. I'm excited when the twins can be his live in playmate, so when we can't leave the house, they have one another.
Braxton goes for his first physical therapy appt. tmw. I'm curious to see what she says...I'm ready for some of these delays he's showing to be caught up. (baby reflexes are still present, etc.)
He has OT next week-- I pray for good therapist, and I also pray that insurance covers all the co-pays. (that can get expensive!).
I'm left in my thoughts...so much more in my head, but caden is insisting on my attention. nothing new. :)
It sort of breaks my heart, though, that I have to remind caden to interact with Braxton. I can understand why caden is playing with xander more; xander is crawling and exploring. Braxton still lays there. in one position. He will move from tummy to back, but not like his brother. Braxton will play with his toys and mouth them. He will babble and giggle if someone engages with him. But he's just not like his brother. YET!
Caden is my little shadow. It's not easy... I wonder, is it his toys? are they are too babyish. is he ready for more? Have I not taught him to play independently? or is he just plain bored. Well I think a little of all that. I'm excited when the twins can be his live in playmate, so when we can't leave the house, they have one another.
Braxton goes for his first physical therapy appt. tmw. I'm curious to see what she says...I'm ready for some of these delays he's showing to be caught up. (baby reflexes are still present, etc.)
He has OT next week-- I pray for good therapist, and I also pray that insurance covers all the co-pays. (that can get expensive!).
I'm left in my thoughts...so much more in my head, but caden is insisting on my attention. nothing new. :)
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
update on the boys
I am having a rare moment when all three boys are asleep. I gotta type fast because this won't last long.
I wanted to brag a moment....Xander is officially crawling! I do see the "commando" style crawl here and there, but for the most part he is crawling on all fours. He likes to stand on his feet while touching the ground. Picture a kid doing a "bear crawl". It's quite cute, and makes me think he is not far from pulling himself up into a standing position.
With that said, he still isn't sitting by himself. This is strange to me, because I always thought you sit independently before you crawl.
Braxton is not crawling yet. He is rolling to places. He likes to lay on his tummy and do the super man position. We are working on him baring more weigh on his arms. He, too, isn't sitting by himself yet.
Both boys are eating 2 servings of solids a day and doing really well drinking their milk. They will drink between 4-5 ounces a feeding (every 3-4 hours). The pediatrician still thinks they are not gaining quick enough so we have an evaluation with a GI specialist. I am suspecting the OT will be working with xander on his ability to eat solids. He eats them, but tends to have some sensory issues with the textures. We'll see...maybe he just doesn't like the taste. Braxton cries if you don't shovel it in his mouth quick enough. :)
They both have their bottom two teeth and both are getting their top two. One has poked through and the other one is coming.
Ped. said the boys are definitely identical and we shouldn't question it anymore. It's very rare to have one placenta and be fraternal.
Personalities are in full force. Xander is a busy body. Wants everything and goes everywhere. Braxton LOVES to be snuggled and tickled. He laughs hard. he is smiling a lot more and so much more interactive. The boys love to be by each other.
Currently the boys are sick. again. Seems their immune system is really weak. Praying caden doesn't get it (bronchitis and ear infection). Nebulizer is out again--
Caden is such a good big brother. He is sharing his toys, soothes the babies when they cry, "fetches" diapers. When he wakes up in the morning first thing he talks about is his brothers, wondering if they are awake or asleep. He'll sign, "xadner. sleep?" then he'll put his finger by his mouth and say, "shhh". knowing that's exactly what I'm about to say next. Very cute. Smart boy too...knows most of his shapes and colors. We are now going to work on potty training. He did a number 2 in the potty yesterday!
I wanted to brag a moment....Xander is officially crawling! I do see the "commando" style crawl here and there, but for the most part he is crawling on all fours. He likes to stand on his feet while touching the ground. Picture a kid doing a "bear crawl". It's quite cute, and makes me think he is not far from pulling himself up into a standing position.
With that said, he still isn't sitting by himself. This is strange to me, because I always thought you sit independently before you crawl.
Braxton is not crawling yet. He is rolling to places. He likes to lay on his tummy and do the super man position. We are working on him baring more weigh on his arms. He, too, isn't sitting by himself yet.
Both boys are eating 2 servings of solids a day and doing really well drinking their milk. They will drink between 4-5 ounces a feeding (every 3-4 hours). The pediatrician still thinks they are not gaining quick enough so we have an evaluation with a GI specialist. I am suspecting the OT will be working with xander on his ability to eat solids. He eats them, but tends to have some sensory issues with the textures. We'll see...maybe he just doesn't like the taste. Braxton cries if you don't shovel it in his mouth quick enough. :)
They both have their bottom two teeth and both are getting their top two. One has poked through and the other one is coming.
Ped. said the boys are definitely identical and we shouldn't question it anymore. It's very rare to have one placenta and be fraternal.
Personalities are in full force. Xander is a busy body. Wants everything and goes everywhere. Braxton LOVES to be snuggled and tickled. He laughs hard. he is smiling a lot more and so much more interactive. The boys love to be by each other.
Currently the boys are sick. again. Seems their immune system is really weak. Praying caden doesn't get it (bronchitis and ear infection). Nebulizer is out again--
Caden is such a good big brother. He is sharing his toys, soothes the babies when they cry, "fetches" diapers. When he wakes up in the morning first thing he talks about is his brothers, wondering if they are awake or asleep. He'll sign, "xadner. sleep?" then he'll put his finger by his mouth and say, "shhh". knowing that's exactly what I'm about to say next. Very cute. Smart boy too...knows most of his shapes and colors. We are now going to work on potty training. He did a number 2 in the potty yesterday!
Saturday, July 3, 2010
carlsbad "vacation"
Have you ever gone to the beach but didn't actually GO to the beach? I mean...you were at the beach but didn't put your toes in the sand or take a swim in the ocean? Well, that would describe our latest attempt at a vacation.
We booked a condo at the beach in San Diego a year in advance; 4th of July weekend. (in order to secure the spot you have to plan a year in advance). we plan to go some where local in case I was pregnant or had a little baby. Good thing we didn't book it out of state-- 3 little ones in hand would not have been the greatest idea.
So our "vacation" rolls around and we arrive at the beach. It's COLD. I'm talking 65 degrees and no sun in sight. For the first few days this did not bother me. We were coming from sunny and hot Riverside. So it was a refreshing change; it actually felt like we were further away from home than we really were. But by the 4th day, and no sign of the sun, it was getting a bit annoying. Typically we would have gone down to the sand regardless of the weather--but the twins got a cold while we were there. This means we were stuck in doors, because the cold wind is not good for their lungs.
Even though we didn't touch the sand, or feel the water, or build sand castles....we were together. Sounds corny, but Phil and I don't see much of each other. We are on totally opposite schedules. So to be in the same room for 7 days straight was a huge treat. We had friends and family come in and out to stay in the 2nd bedroom and enjoy the place with us. So we played tons of catch phrase (girls rocked at it by the way. don't let phil tell you otherwise). Phil and I tried to play ping pong with the three kids. That didn't work too well. but it was a good effort. We did sneak away for a few to play by ourselves-- that was fun.
All in all...this "vacation". or what I like to call a trip, was not what I expected. I did expect it to be hard-- we had 3 little ones with us and we were out of our element. But did not expect to be stuck mostly in doors. God was teaching us patience....and contentment. Still working on those....
at the wild animal park...scuuured of the deer.
family shot at the Wild Animal Park
The play ground at the resort (notice the long pants and sweat shirt)
mini golf at the resort
The boys seem to gravitate towards one another. When we leave they are far apart. When we return (seconds later) they are side by side. It is quite cute. They are starting to be very aware of one another-- and with that, they are very aware of what each other have. And they want it!
We booked a condo at the beach in San Diego a year in advance; 4th of July weekend. (in order to secure the spot you have to plan a year in advance). we plan to go some where local in case I was pregnant or had a little baby. Good thing we didn't book it out of state-- 3 little ones in hand would not have been the greatest idea.
So our "vacation" rolls around and we arrive at the beach. It's COLD. I'm talking 65 degrees and no sun in sight. For the first few days this did not bother me. We were coming from sunny and hot Riverside. So it was a refreshing change; it actually felt like we were further away from home than we really were. But by the 4th day, and no sign of the sun, it was getting a bit annoying. Typically we would have gone down to the sand regardless of the weather--but the twins got a cold while we were there. This means we were stuck in doors, because the cold wind is not good for their lungs.
Even though we didn't touch the sand, or feel the water, or build sand castles....we were together. Sounds corny, but Phil and I don't see much of each other. We are on totally opposite schedules. So to be in the same room for 7 days straight was a huge treat. We had friends and family come in and out to stay in the 2nd bedroom and enjoy the place with us. So we played tons of catch phrase (girls rocked at it by the way. don't let phil tell you otherwise). Phil and I tried to play ping pong with the three kids. That didn't work too well. but it was a good effort. We did sneak away for a few to play by ourselves-- that was fun.
All in all...this "vacation". or what I like to call a trip, was not what I expected. I did expect it to be hard-- we had 3 little ones with us and we were out of our element. But did not expect to be stuck mostly in doors. God was teaching us patience....and contentment. Still working on those....
at the wild animal park...scuuured of the deer.
family shot at the Wild Animal ParkThe play ground at the resort (notice the long pants and sweat shirt)
mini golf at the resort
The boys seem to gravitate towards one another. When we leave they are far apart. When we return (seconds later) they are side by side. It is quite cute. They are starting to be very aware of one another-- and with that, they are very aware of what each other have. And they want it!
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Father's Day pics
xander, right before he crawled for the first time
caden and his friend anthony
mr. cool
He loved the ocean as much as his momma
phil and his mom, feeding the boys (they didn't make us heat the milk!)
taking it all in...
We had such a great time in La Jolla...caden loved every second of it. Phil was walking around so proud of his little boys. He is the best dad...It was a great Father's day!
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